Let’s get one thing straight. For all you who think I am ‘perfect’, I am a life ruiner. Always ruined lives. Ruined my own. Ruined my mum’s. Ruined a friend’s. Ruined my wife’s. Ruined my best friend’s. Ruined everyone’s lives. Every life I touch, it turns to shit. I’m sorry about that guys. I’m truly sorry. It’s just what I do.
Now, as one final act of ruining, I’m about to ruin every single one of your lives too. Again, I’m so sorry about that. It’s selfish, I’m selfish, we’ve established this. May as well continue with that selfishness even post-life.
I literally cannot breathe right now for these thoughts going round in my head. They won’t stop. I can’t cope with them any longer. All day every day I sit and stare and think and literally nothing can distract me. I have no interest in anything that I enjoy doing so I don’t even try. Wanna watch a movie? No point as I won’t concentrate on it. Football? Even that. My mind wanders and there’s just no point.
I have it all set up. A plan if you like. I have spent hours researching and I now know the how, where, when. I know all the equipment I’ll need, I have opportunity, and most important of all I have zero desire for life. I could wake up one day and do it and not even care.
However, it won’t be just ‘one day’, I have the exact day in mind. Which day is that?
Nope, that would be telling…
