I have recently been made aware of how bad a person I actually am. It has made me sit up and take note and realise just how little hope I have in life.
Making people’s lives a misery has been my number one objective since the day I was born and sadly that has clearly become my entire personality.
If I could take myself out of everyone’s lives I would do it without question. I wish I could disappear, vanish, hide, run away or just die and make everyone just a little happier. If I could make just one person happy in my untimely passing that would make everything worthwhile.
It is really very difficult to have any empathy for a person who spends their time tearing other people down, judging their every move & encouraging like minded low life’s to comment hate.
No healthy minded adult would do what you do. Maybe your poor mental health is you reaping what you sow. You got offended about your mental health being shamed recently. Do you see the irony in you being offended by someone you persistently judge. Who are you to judge? You are clearly a very mentally ill person, I hope you get the help you need & I hope the direction your life takes & what you get back, is a direct result of what it is you put out.
Lastly, the people in your comment section would tear you apart if you vlogged your life. You would be the butt of all their jokes & you know it. You put other people down as an escapism from your own failings. Only the most bitter & miserable of people act as you do. Do better
By judging do you mean telling The Inghams they shouldn’t exploit their kids for money and fame? That sort of judging? Or perhaps you mean the fact that Chris Ingham tried to sleep with a 16 year old fan and successfully managed to sleep with a 21 year old fan? You don’t need empathy for me but a little for Chris’s kids and his victims would be nice!
I honestly dont know who the person is that wrote these posts. But, whoever you are, you are not alone. There is a LOT of support in the UK for anyone with severe depression, self harm and suicidal ideation. One that is particularly helpful to men (and before anyone has a go at me out there, that includes ANYONE who identifies as a man), the group is called AMC or Andy’s Man Club. They meet on Monday evenings and are a SAFE place for men to sit and listen to others, voice their own feelings or just be among people for a couple of hours who will not judge you. The group orginated due to a young man taking his own life. Men can find opening up about their feelings very hard indeed. Women will talk and talk and talk mostly, to anyone who will listen. How often have I been on a long distance coach or a train and had the person sitting next to me, pouring out their whole life story and how they are feeling, right now in that moment. Why? I believe it is because they are anonymous. Unknown to me and me to them. They can say what they like and I can either forget it soon as we part company, or I can offer a few words of assistance to them, so they get some much needed support. There is another website called the Hub of Hope. It has invaluable links, via drop down menus for anyone at all who does not know where to turn. Another place, which as a non religious person, may seem bizarre to recommend, but the church, any church at all, will have someone in the congregation who is prepared to listen. Simply to listen and understand. I have been on the end of a telephone call when a young man was about to end his life by jumping off a very high bridge. I managed to talk to him for over an hour whilst some colleagues were alerting the emergency services who have specialist personnel to go out in these situations. To this day, I do not know if that man survived or what happened to him. I can only hope that my words, saying that I was listening and would do all I could to assist him get the support he needed, did have a positive impact. it is really hard to know that someone you love, no longer wants to be here. By that I mean they want to just go to sleep and not wake up. For anyone to be in that situation, with no thoughts of where they could be tomorrow, just wanting it (the mental pain) to end. Be assured, there is support. There are GOOD people out there in the world who will support you and guide you and help you. Despondency when alone is like the mile a minute vine. It just keeps growing. Being alone is the worst thing for a person with suicidal thoughts. Get into company, it doesnt matter where. Go to a community centre. Sit down with a person who is also alone and ask them, is it ok to sit here. Weigh up the here and now and chat, just talk about anything. I usually ask if they have had a good day. Sometimes I get told yes, it has been ok, or fine or sometimes no I havent it has been awful. But, it does instigate a conversation. Anyway, I have rambled on enough for now and hope that my words will make the person who reads them feel less alone, less hurting in their thoughts and perhaps realise that someone out there does care, does love you even. So, have a good evening or day wherever you are. I certainly do care. A lot. 🤗
Thank you so much for your kind thoughts. I did join Andy’s Man Club on Facebook. They have been helpful. Personally I’m also an agoraphobic so getting out into the community to meet people is much harder than I’d like. I would, however, echo your sentiments to anyone else who has suicidal thoughts.
Thank you again for your comment.